Some days it feels like I am getting somewhere, others like I’m getting nowhere. I’m really hoping just the fact that I’ve spent two month considering my topic every single day will help me in the end.
There we sat, the five of us, on the last day of our field study, in a Muslim run Italian restaurant in the heart of Amsterdam. Not wanting the night to end one of us suggested a game of truth or dare. However after reviewing the types of dares that might be suggested we decided to stick with playing our slightly modified version of the traditional game. It was that game that finally allowed us to put down the masks we so desperately clung to every day of our lives. For a short while in Amsterdam we allowed ourselves to be seen as exactly who we are.
That night changed everything for me.
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
It wasn’t until a few weeks after Amsterdam that I realized that I wanted to change my thesis direction. It wasn’t until after the semester had ended that I found this image from my trip to Amsterdam. Out of all the totem poles in that park I only photographed that one, I only cared about that one.. It seems to me looking back on a great many things in my life that I’ve always been headed in the same direction. Perhaps its time I stopped worrying about where I am going and starting trusting that I’ll get there regardless.