I’ve decided to work backwards and fill in a few of the biggest events of the past two months..
For now.. an excerpt from an email to my best friend, dated October 13th: “The amount of personal growth required from me this year is causing some painful ripping and tearing in various parts of my heart and soul.”
While I was complaining one day to one of my closest friends about the black and white nature of my emotions, he suggested that perhaps I should consider myself on more of a gradient, perhaps that would be easier to bear..
Obviously not all the work I am doing for my thesis is sketches and experiments, a great deal or it is reading and note taking. I’m really liking my new notebook. Above are the notes I took from a book that focused on the very first and most important relationship in most peoples lives; their relationship with their mothers. Everything I’ve read on the topic is fascinating. This isn’t the first time I’ve been interested in exploring this relationship either, clip here to see my photographic project on the same topic.
There we sat, the five of us, on the last day of our field study, in a Muslim run Italian restaurant in the heart of Amsterdam. Not wanting the night to end one of us suggested a game of truth or dare. However after reviewing the types of dares that might be suggested we decided to stick with playing our slightly modified version of the traditional game. It was that game that finally allowed us to put down the masks we so desperately clung to every day of our lives. For a short while in Amsterdam we allowed ourselves to be seen as exactly who we are.
That night changed everything for me.
Estikanat Chai 